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School days, I have a very strong vanity. Or you can say, from small to large, my vanity inherent. This strong vanity, so I leave too many regrets and sighs of life on the road. Until now, I have often their own vanity and frustration.
Indeed, there are too vanity is not always a good thing.
Today, a quiet, lonely environment, so that my thoughts and memories of dancing, flew to the former student. That is the thing I was in high school. Count the next time, a full decade.
Remember, but still clear and vivid.
Memory, there are many things become more and more vague, but some things are not always wipe it away, like today, I write it.
In high school, I was almost every week to go home, because the school is not very far from home, say stay in school, feel nothing, it simply went home. That time my grandmother came to my home, the grandmother only my mother a daughter, the elderly, always wanted children, the son can not meet every day, may be the daughter married, can not meet every day! So leisure time, will come to the daughter Jia Zuozuo narration in the mother and daughter. As usual, I got home, called a cry grandmother. Grandmother to see the grandson of the high school, extraordinarily happy, asking questions, greetings. In the eyes of a grandmother, grandson can read in high school, has been regarded as a literate person. Moreover, among all my cousins, no one can read in high school OAKLEY OIL RIG SUNGLASSES, the fact that I became a grandmother's favorite.
Rather, the grandmother is proud of me!
In fact, the grandmother of my love more than my cousin. Only one daughter, grandmother, mother a son, my position has always been superior. So, every time I go to his grandmother, grandmother honor those younger out of her candy, give me to eat my favorite meals! In this regard, the aunt who are often some complaints. Grandmother Every time I come to my house, there will always bring me delicious candy in her heart, my grandson, it is worth to let her give more love and care. So, such as the care of the tiny stream, I was innocent hearts, do not have much touched and pleased. Mundane, placid In an interview with the grandmother's unpaid pay. Even "thank you" forgot to say.
Wait until I can remember, know when to say thank you, grandmother has passed away!
With sad, I was weighing "the son wants his parents are not the weight of words. In addition to the regret, more guilt.
I asked Grandma, what time? The grandmother told me to come for several days. Going to go back tomorrow. Grandmother, although over seventy years, but still self-reliant, vegetables, chickens, and so on. So, my grandmother every time to my family, they can not live long, hurried a few days, it got up to say go. She does not fit the land dishes, cages, just to the chicks hatched.
Grandmother to go the next day, and I go the same way, because my school is between the middle of my family and grandma. Grandmother home to go through my school. My grandmother has completed a few miles the winding mountain road, came to the station, the station, in fact, is no stop sign, just an intersection has. The car at this intersection, this place, it naturally became the so-called station!
It reminds me of Lu Xun's famous saying: "There is no way, people just go way, a road
Until now, that intersection, or stop sign, but people have the habit of waiting for the bus. I had for many years is not such as car, my grandmother never leave me a. The front came a classmate classmate. Flash, the vanity of heart, let me complain, come true is not the time, sighing happens and grandmother sitting with this train. Put it directly, I do not want students to see the old woman and an elderly hobbled together by car. Feel a loss of face, is really connected source I complain.
Students rushed me to smile, what a coincidence! I said: "ah"! His face wearing the uncomfortable smile. Grandmother to the side, all did not care. Today's going to night classes who is on duty? The students asked.
"Wu teacher that old man." I absent-minded in answering.
"I do not like him how he too serious." The students went on to say.
Ah, I do not like. Heart long been a storm full House.
At this time, the car to a white bus came, said to be white, in fact, already white, body dust and dirt accumulation. That is the marks left by the dust on the road in the mountains. Grandmother, anxious to get on the train, I'm afraid the grandmother fell down, leaning on Grandma.
"This is you people?" Classmates asked me.
Do not know, I wanted to tell students OAKLEY INMATE SUNGLASSES, this is my grandmother, and pain I love my grandmother, but the mentality of so young I lied to the students, but also hurt themselves. I do not know, was grandmother listen carefully to this sentence, if the hear, and mouth from her favorite grandson say, how uncomfortable. Care I for the time I feel very ashamed.
"I really can not think you quite helpful carry forward the spirit of it." The students laugh at the side.
Fever my face began to burn the ears, trying to cover up their own panic and distress that students vote to faint barely smile. In my later life, such a smile, although often also occur, but are not that bitter. The inner thoughts roll, such as spills Gomi bottle! Uncomfortable. I found a seat for Grandma. But back to the grandmother. Single glance out the window the shuttle over the mountains and trees, and which piece of the rice fields. Heart a mess! Painful disorder.
It seemed to the countless pairs of eyes watching me, feeling like an unmarried girl bare body exposed under a large crowd, shame can not describe. Day, in the car, I did not say a word with the grandmother. Day in the car, the students told me, I was completely not remember. That day, I did not buy the tickets for the grandmother, just a dollar ticket, I'm afraid the students laugh at me, afraid Do not laugh at me. This attitude, I now recall that time, I can not understand.
If the vanity, which is very shameful. When I get off, there is no with Grandma farewell, made just looked back at grandma one. Grandma was looking at me and moved his lips, as if would like to say to me? Failed to open, too late to speak, because I had to go off. I did not go back straight ran to the school dormitory, tired!
I made something of a guilty life. Also in the winter of that year, my grandmother was sick, my mother and I went to see Grandma, Grandma had not unable to speak, their eyes dull, it is extremely sluggish. Listen to uncle said, have been better not eaten for days. Look at the grandmother's face, that he is haggard. Shares sour things, the impact of my nostrils, let me uncomfortable. Eyes with the tears of the mother's tears had long been wet.
And I finally can not enter the grandmother said the sentence did not expect that in the car, the opposite was actually my grandmother's the last time a stranger and stranger. The grandmother buried the time, I did not see him, because learning is busy college entrance around the corner, the mother is afraid to delay my studies, did not let me leave. Today, the recall is for a full decade. Come on, I look back, years of time, like a dream, dream fragments, such as yesterday.
Grandmother had left me ten years of this decade, I have incompetent in living a dull life, only occasionally think of this story replice oakley sunglasses, the total can not be calm heart, lurking in the heart of guilt and blame will always spread rapidly in every nerve .
These years, I have the courage to tell it to anyone.
Today, perhaps a special day, heavy thoughts, kind of a strong desire for the pour, so I put it in words recorded can be regarded as a catharsis, can be considered to grandmother had passed away a little compensation for it!