Perfect love is a prison for children; perfect parents let their children lost its independence; children have the right to choice, even choose the unfortunate. Here is the motto of the latest educational psychology experts.
"Parents" is a "professional" is doomed to failure
★ where progress will have side effects. Since World War II, the progress of Western society is the group to survive the priority give way to personal adventure. Interactive relationship within the family - whether it is between husband and wife or between the two generations --- was completely reorganized. Personal adventure and full development of side effects is anxiety.
★ In the past, raising children is to let things slide, "extensive operation"; Today, people spend too much time and effort in learning to parents, and always uneasy on their own were not doing well. The past is the child afraid to less than the parents' expectations; now reversed, and the parents for fear of less than the child's request.
★ In modern society, each family only living in their own enclosed space, almost no mutual aid. If parents in a serious illness or death, the child's world collapsed.
★ In the modern family, the knowledge than any higher education than any are poor, because the role of books is much compensation not lack of words and deeds.
★ In the past, all the young girls to do his mother will be with children, it is small monasteries to. Grandmother are first-class clinicians replica gucci belts, the diagnosis of diarrhea, dehydration ... but today, the mother can only take the kids to see a doctor, or go to the open book. Parent and child relationship between the technical, professional. Parents into a career.
The ★ child more rare property, the parents are afraid that there is room for error. However, the perfect man, so a child can reach the desired height of parents. In this sense, the "parents" door "career" is doomed to end in failure of the
Scientific and technological knowledge so that children and parents on an equal footing, even higher than their parents
★ In the past, women used to say: I want to give birth to a child for her husband, he will be glad; and now they say, I would like to give a child a father --- a child to replace his father, became the center of the family.
★ In the late mother's pregnancy, ultrasound can even measure the fetal behavioral tendencies. So start planning for the future of the parents: "He'll be a star," she is a dancer "... science and technology involved in the manufacture of myth. In the early days of human society, personal development, all prescribed by the tribe; Today, a child may be 1000 kinds of different future. In the past, the children for family planning services; now is the future of the family as a child.
The ★ father's authority in the loss, this is a reality. When the relatively low technological level, the functioning of society or rely on a man's muscles to provide energy, thus obtained as a man of the power of a symbol of authority. The father is a pillar of the family, his wife in a subordinate position. However, two generations later, the muscle strength lost its original value --- in football and boxing arena, scientific and technical knowledge to become the new symbol of strength. In this man-made ecological environment, the ability of a woman in no way inferior to men. Thus, the authority of the father since the 1970s of the last century feminist defeated, but the mother failed to share in the family or to replace the father's position.
★ scientific and technological knowledge so that children and parents on an equal footing, even higher than their parents. Parents are able to pass the child something less. The past is the father groomed his son to teach a vocational skills; cultured daughter, mother, taught her how to raise children. Today, all of this knowledge are not used, the children in turn become teachers.
★ In the past, people clearly know what is the tradition from generation to generation: a surname, a property, a piece of land, an occupation, a religion, a kind of culture ... the family said: You will believe what what to teach, you will at what age marriage, you will have children ... today to the next generation of delivery is something psychological. The most important heritage --- happiness, anxiety, apathy --- unknowingly. A lot of things are passed on to the next generation, just not our own will.
★ face onto the children of drug use and violence astray, defeat the parents to review their own fear and trepidation: I fully understand the child's pain? I do still not good enough? What am I doing wrong? In fact, on the contrary, these parents just too mild replica gucci belts, too wholeheartedly. Among them, many successful doctors, lawyers, on the kind of career. But in front of the children, they do not have the authority and is willing to give up authority.
Children do not need perfect parents
★ Relax, parents! Do not forget a perfect parents, children the how tired: This is tantamount to force their children happy, forcing him happy --- because it is the goal of the parents! "You know, you of course have their own choice, even choose the unfortunate," the mother of a sense of humor is often the children say.
★ from the 60s of last century, psychologists in a variety of psychological counseling and women's magazines, has become the star of education, an argument prevailed: No one is born bad boy, did not get the full love child. People began to promote dialogue, listen ... this generation's mistake was to refuse conflict. Do they believe that children can grow up in a conflict-free environment? They can not say no? Notes from the desire of ban constraint is a form of violence, the conflict under control will help the children grow up.
★ child is in a fight for the independence of older parents surrounded the child with love, just as the child locked in the cage of love. So the children if you want to break through the cage, the first one to fierce resistance from parents. Often hear parents to talk about the children: "an angel on the outside, at home is the devil out the angels, because they are afraid of the outside world at home; is the devil, because they know their own uncompromising.
★ found through a survey done by the character of many terrorists, most of them are well educated, love their parents. Their home environment is good. Parents out of good intentions, do it all for them to solve all problems, remove all the difficulties. This makes the child unable to find yourself --- do not know who he is, do not know what they want, do not know the consequences of their behavior, do not know what kind of test can withstand do not know their value. The boys are so into drugs, and terror to try dangerous; girls may try of the game.
★ Some parents hide their own pain mens gucci belts, reluctant to let their children to bear the slightest pain. They do not understand, the children recognize their own imperfect --- weakness, cowardice and frustration, is beneficial to the child. The child needs to complete their parents, while not perfect parents. To get along with the shortcomings of parents, children can grow.